ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
