The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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