jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I don't think brook has ever known best
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Mom said you looked used
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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