She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We had to coat check the pizza.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
