It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
