quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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