You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
