I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
