id be glad to
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
