I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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