im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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