I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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