My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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