Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize