she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Congratulations! We have a period
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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