brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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