I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
