I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
