did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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