would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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