I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
