if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
