You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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