so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
