I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
