It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
