Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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