i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
