He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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