ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize