reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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