It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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