fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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