the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize