your room smells of hookers.
And success
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
