dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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