why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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