You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
