alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He has the fingertips of a God
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