I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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