So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
