She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
