u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
