do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize