Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
