Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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