yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
