Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize