I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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