Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
