Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
