Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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