Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
