these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We have so much sex to catch up on
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
