Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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