Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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