we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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