The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
