FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
