sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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