Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
