ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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