Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
