It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
